A Little Book of Friendship
Published in RAINLIGHT
by Rupa Publications India Pvt. Ltd. 2013
7/16, Ansari Road, Daryaganj
New Delhi 110002
Copyright © Ruskin Bond 2013
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher.
ISBN, 978-81-291-2494-4
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
Replika Press Pvt. Ltd., India
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated, without the publisher's prior consent, in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published.
CONTENTS
Introduction
New
A
True
We
Sunshine
Brothers
Destiny
Walls instead of Bridges
Age
Friend
Only Connect
Love I overlook. Is that real Friendship?
My A Little Book of Life was so well received that my publishers suggested that I compile another Little Book—a selection of personal reflections and quotations which could be helpful to readers in times of stress. Or even in times of contentment.
And what better theme than friendship?
My own life has been greatly influenced by friendships, old and new. Even though some may be far away, they are never far from my thoughts. Sometimes friends have become family, and sometimes, friends have made me a part of their families.
My notebooks are full of thoughts and observations on the subject of friendship—some are my own reflections, others words of wisdom passed on to us by great men and women. And as with the earlier Little Book, we have provided readers with a number of blank pages where they can put down their own thoughts or favourite quotations—or even the names and characteristics of their closest friends!
I have been writing for over sixty-five years, and I realize now that my greatest friends have been my readers. They have sustained me over the years. May they prosper and be happy!
Ruskin Bond
When I was eight, my
father took me by the hand
and led me up the steps of
old forts and monuments,
and told me their
stories. He was the ideal
companion, the best friend
a boy could have had at
that age. As I put together
this little book of thoughts
and sayings on friendship,
I invoke his blessing…
for to live in the hearts of
those we leave behind is
never to die.
Fools try to make people
like them; wise men strive
to like others.
‘Be slow in choosing a
friend, slower in changing.’
—Benjamin Franklin
‘Those friends thou hast,
and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul
with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm
with entertainment
Of each new-hatch’d,
unfledged comrade.’
—William Shakespeare
‘An honest friend is worth
more than a throne.’
—Chinese proverb
‘One friend in a lifetime
is much; two are many;
three are hardly possible.
Friendship needs a certain
parallelism of life, a
community of thought, a
rivalry of aim.’
—Henry Adams
‘Tell me thy company, and
I’ll tell thee what thou art.’
—Cervantes
‘Friendship is born at that
moment when one person
says to another, “What!
You too? I thought I was
the only one.”’
—C.S. Lewis
‘Your task is not to seek
for love, but merely to seek
and find all the barriers
within yourself that you
have built against it.’
—Rumi
A great book is a friend
that never lets you down.
You can return to it again
and again and the joy first
derived from it will still be
there.
‘Behold, I do not give
lectures or a little charity,
when I give I give myself.’
—Walt Whitman
‘The wise man does not lay
up treasure.
The more he gives to
others, the more he has for
his own.’
—Lao Tzu
‘Friendship is a word the
very sight of which in print
makes the heart warm.’
—Augustine Birrell
‘If a man does not make
new acquaintances as he
advances through life, he
will soon find himself left
alone. A man, sir, should
keep his friendship in
constant repair.’
—James Boswell
One kind word can warm a
heart for years.
‘Be not forgetful to
entertain strangers:
for thereby some have
entertained angels
unawares.’
—New Testament
‘A good man finds all the
world friendly.’
—Indian proverb
‘For there is no friend like
a sister,
In calm or stormy weather,
To cheer one on the
tedious way,
To fetch one if one goes
astray,
To lift one if one totters
down,
To strengthen whilst one
stands.’
—Christina Rossetti
‘Easy at first, the language
of friendship
Is, as we soon discover,
Very difficult to speak
well…
And, unless spoken often,
soon goes rusty.
Distance and duties divide
us,
But absence will not seem
an evil
If it make our re-meeting
A real occasion. Come
when you can:
Your room will be ready.’
—W.H. Auden
‘Hail Guest! We ask not
what thou art;
If Friend, we greet thee,
hand and heart;
If Stranger, such no longer
be;
If Foe, our love shall
conquer thee.’
—Old Welsh door verse
‘Gratitude preserves old
friendship and begets new.’
—Scottish proverb
‘Kind hearts are more than
coronets,
And simple faith than
Norman blood.’
—Lord Alfred Tennyson
‘The sins of the warm-
hearted should be judged
on a different scale from
those of the cold-blooded.’
—Dante
‘The true test of friendship r />
is to be able to sit or walk
with a friend for an hour
in perfect silence without
wearying of one another’s
company.’
—Dinah Maria Craik
‘Children need love,
especially when they do not
deserve it.’
—Harold Hulbert
‘No man who knows what
friendship is ever gave up
a friend because he turned
out to be disreputable. His
only reason for giving up a
friend is that he has ceased
to care for him; and, when
that happens, he should
reproach himself for this
mortal poverty of affection;
not the friend for having
proved unworthy.’
—A. Clutton Brock
‘I make a pact with you,
Walt Whitman—
I have detested you long
enough.
I came to you as a grown child
Who has had a pig-headed
father;
I am old enough now to
make friends.
It was you that broke the
new wood,
Now is a time for carving.
We have one sap and one
root—
Let there be commerce
between us.’
—Ezra Pound
To a Squirrel
‘Come play with me;
Why should you run
Through the shaking tree
As though I’d a gun
To strike you dead?
When all I would do
Is to scratch your head
And let you go.’
—W.B. Yeats
People come to tell me of
your faults, dear friend.
They go over them, again
and again, and I nod and
listen patiently, for I have
known them all too well. I
cannot expect these
well-wishers to see that
your faults have made me
love you more.
The nice thing about old
photographs is that we can
turn to them from time
to time, relive the past,
revive old friendships,
admire ourselves when
we were younger, shed a
sentimental tear or two,
and come back to the
present with a feeling that
life isn’t such a waste of
time, after all… Friends
and lovers have come and
gone, and life has been
richer because of them.
There’s something to be
said for photography: it
puts life into perspective!
‘What is a friend?
A single soul dwelling
in two bodies.’
—Aristotle
‘Let your boat of life be
light, packed with only what
you need—a homely home
and simple pleasures, one
or two friends, worth the
name, someone to love and
someone to love you, a cat,
a dog, and a pipe or two,
enough to eat and enough
to wear, and a little more
than enough to drink; for
thirst is a dangerous thing.’
—Jerome K. Jerome
‘Across the gateway of my
heart
I wrote “No Thoroughfare”,
But love came laughing by,
and cried:
“I enter everywhere.”’
—Herbert Shipman
‘Do I not destroy my
enemies when I make them
my friends?’
—Abraham Lincoln
‘God grows weary of great
kingdoms, but never of
little flowers.’
—Rabindranath Tagore
‘When the character of a
man is not clear to you,
look at his friends.’
—Japanese proverb
‘As I write these last words,
my thoughts return to you
who were my comrades, the
stubborn and indomitable
peasants of Nepal. Once
more I hear the laughter
with which you greeted
every hardship. Once more
I see you in your bivouacs
or about your fires, on
forced march or in the
trenches now scorched
by a pitiless and burning
sun. Uncomplaining you
endure hunger and thirst
and wounds, and at the
last your unwavering lines
disappear into the smoke
and wrath of battle. Bravest
of the brave, most generous
of the generous, never had
a country more faithful
friends than you.’
—Sir Ralph Turner on the
Gurkha soldiers
‘Old Derbyshire farmer,
to a friend disappointed at
not hearing a tame magpie
talk: “No, he don’t say
much, I’ll grant you that,
but he’s a great one for
thinking!”’
—The Countryman
No words heal better than
the silent company of a
friend.
‘Fondle them the first five
years;
Beat them the succeeding
ten:
On their cheeks when
down appears,
Treat your sons as friend
and men.’
—Tales of the Sarai
‘Who for any fault whatever
Fosters his own body less?
Once a friend, a friend’s
forever,
Howsoever he transgress.’
—The Panchatantra
‘If I had to choose between
betraying my country and
betraying my friend, I hope
I should have the guts to
betray my country.’
—E.M. Forster
Sometimes a grey-bearded
old warrior comes up to
me and says, ‘Don’t you
remember me, Bond? We
were at school together!’
So were hundreds of other
boys, and one cannot
recall each one of them.
We remember our close
friends or those with whom
we shared some memorable
experience. ‘Don’t you
remember?’ he persists.
‘We both got flogged
for going to the cinema
instead of attending Sunday
school!’ Instantly, I recall
the occasion, and recognize
my old school chum, and
we go off together for a
meal and chat about old
times. Sixty years have
passed, but it isn’t difficult
to renew our friendship.
You have to have something
in common. In our
case, it was the caning
we’d received from the
headmaster.
‘Shang ya!
I want to be your friend
For ever and ever without
break or decay.
When the hills are all flat
And the rivers are all dry,
When it lightens and
thunders in winter,
When it rains and snows in
summer,
When heaven and Earth
mingle—
Not till then will I part
> from you.’
—‘Oath of Friendship’, China
Many years ago, dear
friend, we walked beside
a little stream in the
hills, gathering ferns. We
collected a number of
different ferns and pressed
them in a scrapbook, which
I put away in a drawer.
Yesterday, looking for
something else, I came
across the scrapbook and
opened it, to find the
ferns in perfect condition—
emblems of a friendship
that came close to
perfection.
‘Spend the things you
chiefly cherish—
Wealth and life—to serve
your friends.
Both of these must
surely perish;
Let them perish for
good ends.’
—Tales of the Sarai
‘Camerado, I give you
my hand!
I give you my love more
precious than money,
I give you myself before
preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel
with me?
Shall we stick by each other
as long as we live?’
—Walt Whitman
‘One day,’ said the Persian
poet Saadi, ‘I saw a rose
bush surrounded by a tuft
of grass.
“What!” I cried, “Does that
vile plant dare to place
itself in the company of
roses?”
I was about to tear the
grass away when it meekly
addressed me, saying,
“Spare me! I am not the
rose, it is true; but from
my perfume any one can
know at least that I have
lived with roses.”’
‘A fern beside the way we
went
She plucked, and smiling,
held it up,
While from her hand the
wild, sweet scent
I drank as from a cup.’
—John Greenleaf Whittier
‘“Everyone to his own
taste,” the old woman said
when she kissed her cow.’
—English country proverb