A Little Book of Friendship Read online

  Published in RAINLIGHT

  by Rupa Publications India Pvt. Ltd. 2013

  7/16, Ansari Road, Daryaganj

  New Delhi 110002

  Copyright © Ruskin Bond 2013

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher.

  ISBN, 978-81-291-2494-4

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  Replika Press Pvt. Ltd., India

  This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated, without the publisher's prior consent, in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published.

  CONTENTS

  Introduction

  New

  A

  True

  We

  Sunshine

  Brothers

  Destiny

  Walls instead of Bridges

  Age

  Friend

  Only Connect

  Love I overlook. Is that real Friendship?

  My A Little Book of Life was so well received that my publishers suggested that I compile another Little Book—a selection of personal reflections and quotations which could be helpful to readers in times of stress. Or even in times of contentment.

  And what better theme than friendship?

  My own life has been greatly influenced by friendships, old and new. Even though some may be far away, they are never far from my thoughts. Sometimes friends have become family, and sometimes, friends have made me a part of their families.

  My notebooks are full of thoughts and observations on the subject of friendship—some are my own reflections, others words of wisdom passed on to us by great men and women. And as with the earlier Little Book, we have provided readers with a number of blank pages where they can put down their own thoughts or favourite quotations—or even the names and characteristics of their closest friends!

  I have been writing for over sixty-five years, and I realize now that my greatest friends have been my readers. They have sustained me over the years. May they prosper and be happy!

  Ruskin Bond

  When I was eight, my

  father took me by the hand

  and led me up the steps of

  old forts and monuments,

  and told me their

  stories. He was the ideal

  companion, the best friend

  a boy could have had at

  that age. As I put together

  this little book of thoughts

  and sayings on friendship,

  I invoke his blessing…

  for to live in the hearts of

  those we leave behind is

  never to die.

  Fools try to make people

  like them; wise men strive

  to like others.

  ‘Be slow in choosing a

  friend, slower in changing.’

  —Benjamin Franklin

  ‘Those friends thou hast,

  and their adoption tried,

  Grapple them to thy soul

  with hoops of steel;

  But do not dull thy palm

  with entertainment

  Of each new-hatch’d,

  unfledged comrade.’

  —William Shakespeare

  ‘An honest friend is worth

  more than a throne.’

  —Chinese proverb

  ‘One friend in a lifetime

  is much; two are many;

  three are hardly possible.

  Friendship needs a certain

  parallelism of life, a

  community of thought, a

  rivalry of aim.’

  —Henry Adams

  ‘Tell me thy company, and

  I’ll tell thee what thou art.’

  —Cervantes

  ‘Friendship is born at that

  moment when one person

  says to another, “What!

  You too? I thought I was

  the only one.”’

  —C.S. Lewis

  ‘Your task is not to seek

  for love, but merely to seek

  and find all the barriers

  within yourself that you

  have built against it.’

  —Rumi

  A great book is a friend

  that never lets you down.

  You can return to it again

  and again and the joy first

  derived from it will still be

  there.

  ‘Behold, I do not give

  lectures or a little charity,

  when I give I give myself.’

  —Walt Whitman

  ‘The wise man does not lay

  up treasure.

  The more he gives to

  others, the more he has for

  his own.’

  —Lao Tzu

  ‘Friendship is a word the

  very sight of which in print

  makes the heart warm.’

  —Augustine Birrell

  ‘If a man does not make

  new acquaintances as he

  advances through life, he

  will soon find himself left

  alone. A man, sir, should

  keep his friendship in

  constant repair.’

  —James Boswell

  One kind word can warm a

  heart for years.

  ‘Be not forgetful to

  entertain strangers:

  for thereby some have

  entertained angels

  unawares.’

  —New Testament

  ‘A good man finds all the

  world friendly.’

  —Indian proverb

  ‘For there is no friend like

  a sister,

  In calm or stormy weather,

  To cheer one on the

  tedious way,

  To fetch one if one goes

  astray,

  To lift one if one totters

  down,

  To strengthen whilst one

  stands.’

  —Christina Rossetti

  ‘Easy at first, the language

  of friendship

  Is, as we soon discover,

  Very difficult to speak

  well…

  And, unless spoken often,

  soon goes rusty.

  Distance and duties divide

  us,

  But absence will not seem

  an evil

  If it make our re-meeting

  A real occasion. Come

  when you can:

  Your room will be ready.’

  —W.H. Auden

  ‘Hail Guest! We ask not

  what thou art;

  If Friend, we greet thee,

  hand and heart;

  If Stranger, such no longer

  be;

  If Foe, our love shall

  conquer thee.’

  —Old Welsh door verse

  ‘Gratitude preserves old

  friendship and begets new.’

  —Scottish proverb

  ‘Kind hearts are more than

  coronets,

  And simple faith than

  Norman blood.’

  —Lord Alfred Tennyson

  ‘The sins of the warm-

  hearted should be judged

  on a different scale from

  those of the cold-blooded.’

  —Dante

  ‘The true test of friendship r />
  is to be able to sit or walk

  with a friend for an hour

  in perfect silence without

  wearying of one another’s

  company.’

  —Dinah Maria Craik

  ‘Children need love,

  especially when they do not

  deserve it.’

  —Harold Hulbert

  ‘No man who knows what

  friendship is ever gave up

  a friend because he turned

  out to be disreputable. His

  only reason for giving up a

  friend is that he has ceased

  to care for him; and, when

  that happens, he should

  reproach himself for this

  mortal poverty of affection;

  not the friend for having

  proved unworthy.’

  —A. Clutton Brock

  ‘I make a pact with you,

  Walt Whitman—

  I have detested you long

  enough.

  I came to you as a grown child

  Who has had a pig-headed

  father;

  I am old enough now to

  make friends.

  It was you that broke the

  new wood,

  Now is a time for carving.

  We have one sap and one

  root—

  Let there be commerce

  between us.’

  —Ezra Pound

  To a Squirrel

  ‘Come play with me;

  Why should you run

  Through the shaking tree

  As though I’d a gun

  To strike you dead?

  When all I would do

  Is to scratch your head

  And let you go.’

  —W.B. Yeats

  People come to tell me of

  your faults, dear friend.

  They go over them, again

  and again, and I nod and

  listen patiently, for I have

  known them all too well. I

  cannot expect these

  well-wishers to see that

  your faults have made me

  love you more.

  The nice thing about old

  photographs is that we can

  turn to them from time

  to time, relive the past,

  revive old friendships,

  admire ourselves when

  we were younger, shed a

  sentimental tear or two,

  and come back to the

  present with a feeling that

  life isn’t such a waste of

  time, after all… Friends

  and lovers have come and

  gone, and life has been

  richer because of them.

  There’s something to be

  said for photography: it

  puts life into perspective!

  ‘What is a friend?

  A single soul dwelling

  in two bodies.’

  —Aristotle

  ‘Let your boat of life be

  light, packed with only what

  you need—a homely home

  and simple pleasures, one

  or two friends, worth the

  name, someone to love and

  someone to love you, a cat,

  a dog, and a pipe or two,

  enough to eat and enough

  to wear, and a little more

  than enough to drink; for

  thirst is a dangerous thing.’

  —Jerome K. Jerome

  ‘Across the gateway of my

  heart

  I wrote “No Thoroughfare”,

  But love came laughing by,

  and cried:

  “I enter everywhere.”’

  —Herbert Shipman

  ‘Do I not destroy my

  enemies when I make them

  my friends?’

  —Abraham Lincoln

  ‘God grows weary of great

  kingdoms, but never of

  little flowers.’

  —Rabindranath Tagore

  ‘When the character of a

  man is not clear to you,

  look at his friends.’

  —Japanese proverb

  ‘As I write these last words,

  my thoughts return to you

  who were my comrades, the

  stubborn and indomitable

  peasants of Nepal. Once

  more I hear the laughter

  with which you greeted

  every hardship. Once more

  I see you in your bivouacs

  or about your fires, on

  forced march or in the

  trenches now scorched

  by a pitiless and burning

  sun. Uncomplaining you

  endure hunger and thirst

  and wounds, and at the

  last your unwavering lines

  disappear into the smoke

  and wrath of battle. Bravest

  of the brave, most generous

  of the generous, never had

  a country more faithful

  friends than you.’

  —Sir Ralph Turner on the

  Gurkha soldiers

  ‘Old Derbyshire farmer,

  to a friend disappointed at

  not hearing a tame magpie

  talk: “No, he don’t say

  much, I’ll grant you that,

  but he’s a great one for

  thinking!”’

  —The Countryman

  No words heal better than

  the silent company of a

  friend.

  ‘Fondle them the first five

  years;

  Beat them the succeeding

  ten:

  On their cheeks when

  down appears,

  Treat your sons as friend

  and men.’

  —Tales of the Sarai

  ‘Who for any fault whatever

  Fosters his own body less?

  Once a friend, a friend’s

  forever,

  Howsoever he transgress.’

  —The Panchatantra

  ‘If I had to choose between

  betraying my country and

  betraying my friend, I hope

  I should have the guts to

  betray my country.’

  —E.M. Forster

  Sometimes a grey-bearded

  old warrior comes up to

  me and says, ‘Don’t you

  remember me, Bond? We

  were at school together!’

  So were hundreds of other

  boys, and one cannot

  recall each one of them.

  We remember our close

  friends or those with whom

  we shared some memorable

  experience. ‘Don’t you

  remember?’ he persists.

  ‘We both got flogged

  for going to the cinema

  instead of attending Sunday

  school!’ Instantly, I recall

  the occasion, and recognize

  my old school chum, and

  we go off together for a

  meal and chat about old

  times. Sixty years have

  passed, but it isn’t difficult

  to renew our friendship.

  You have to have something

  in common. In our

  case, it was the caning

  we’d received from the

  headmaster.

  ‘Shang ya!

  I want to be your friend

  For ever and ever without

  break or decay.

  When the hills are all flat

  And the rivers are all dry,

  When it lightens and

  thunders in winter,

  When it rains and snows in

  summer,

  When heaven and Earth

  mingle—

  Not till then will I part

>   from you.’

  —‘Oath of Friendship’, China

  Many years ago, dear

  friend, we walked beside

  a little stream in the

  hills, gathering ferns. We

  collected a number of

  different ferns and pressed

  them in a scrapbook, which

  I put away in a drawer.

  Yesterday, looking for

  something else, I came

  across the scrapbook and

  opened it, to find the

  ferns in perfect condition—

  emblems of a friendship

  that came close to

  perfection.

  ‘Spend the things you

  chiefly cherish—

  Wealth and life—to serve

  your friends.

  Both of these must

  surely perish;

  Let them perish for

  good ends.’

  —Tales of the Sarai

  ‘Camerado, I give you

  my hand!

  I give you my love more

  precious than money,

  I give you myself before

  preaching or law;

  Will you give me yourself?

  Will you come travel

  with me?

  Shall we stick by each other

  as long as we live?’

  —Walt Whitman

  ‘One day,’ said the Persian

  poet Saadi, ‘I saw a rose

  bush surrounded by a tuft

  of grass.

  “What!” I cried, “Does that

  vile plant dare to place

  itself in the company of

  roses?”

  I was about to tear the

  grass away when it meekly

  addressed me, saying,

  “Spare me! I am not the

  rose, it is true; but from

  my perfume any one can

  know at least that I have

  lived with roses.”’

  ‘A fern beside the way we

  went

  She plucked, and smiling,

  held it up,

  While from her hand the

  wild, sweet scent

  I drank as from a cup.’

  —John Greenleaf Whittier

  ‘“Everyone to his own

  taste,” the old woman said

  when she kissed her cow.’

  —English country proverb